You know it is love when someone will touch you after 26.2 miles in July!
It is Valentine’s Day Week, so the greeting card companies are working overtime and flower and candy makers have loaded up the stores and jewelers are shining up their goods, hoping that you will buy as much of this stuff as possible as a way to show a special someone just how much you love them.
But while those things are wonderful tokens we can GIVE to someone we love, it is important to note that things are NOT love.
So for this week, a reminder to take care of love – take care of those you love, take care of your relationships, and take care of yourself and remember you are loved and worth loving.
Why is this important? Because for many couples, Valentine’s Day is the most stressful day of the year. There are so many expectations piled upon us by the media and friends and family and others we see around spending loads of money on a very ‘thing’-focused day. While we all know it is a ‘manufactured’ holiday, we also feel the constant pressure to demonstrate our love. The result? Stress.
And as most of us know, stress is directly linked to health issues, such as:
– Physical illness:
– Heart disease:
– Obesity:
– Depression:
That is all pretty depressing for a Valentine’s Day thought … but that isn’t my intention. Instead of stressing about spending loads of money on your spouse or significant other – or stressing because you DON’T have a significant other or hoping they will ‘put a ring on it’ or stressing because you think that SHE hopes … well, you get the picture.
But instead of all that stress … try LOVE. Because while STRESS is bad for you health, LOVE is GREAT for your health! In my ‘Monday Musings’ I chose hugs over kisses. Here is some info on how hugs and holding hands help our health:
Hugging and holding hands. According to a study reported to the American Psychosomatic Society, hugs can do a world of wonders. It was found that holding hands with a partner for 10 minutes or sharing a brief hug can “greatly reduce the harmful physical effects of stress” such as their heart rate and blood pressure. Such touches lowered the levels of cortisol, a stress hormone, and increased levels of serotonin and dopamine, chemicals that aid the pleasure centers in our brain.
Not that I have anything against kisses, but for me hugs are so inclusive – they include hugging your lover, your friends, your parents and siblings, and your children and pets. There are articles about health benefits and also the beauty benefits of love.
For ourselves, we’ve had many years of spending too much money, years of dinners with the kids, and more recently just enjoyable low-stress days together celebrating our love – while our kids begin to deal with all of the stress!
Of course, there are plenty of articles about how sex is good for you mentally and physically as well, but I will leave those exercises to the reader. 😉
But the problem is that for many Valentine’s Day is incredibly stressful because it can feel terribly lonely if you don’t have a significant other … yet there are plenty of resources to help you there as well. For me, the most important thing to remember is this:
You cannot fully love someone else until you love yourself. So on Valentine’s Day remember that YOU are important, YOU are worth loving and that YOU are beautiful. Not only is it true, it is good for your health!
Running Around the Bend 
Love this post! We should be focusing on our partner throughout the year and keeping our relationships healthy and alive! It’s not always easy but it is ALWAYS wroth it!
The last part about not loving someone until you love yourself is so true. I used to try to act like it wasn’t, but as I have come to accept myself on a higher level I have been able to be more supportive and loving towards Wes. Plus confidence and self love is attractive to your spouse!
It really is – sometimes the best way to support someone else is to not need support for ourselves through our independance.
That is true love! 😉 This is a good post – and a reminder to keep those we love close!
Thanks!
So much of valentines day if focused on the love coming from a signifiant other, but love is universal including, like you said, loving yourself.
Thanks Tonya! I totally understand as I get older how the holidays can be such a difficult and depressing time for many people, and honestly I have been together with Lisa so long I can’t claim empathy for that struggle … but I know it is important to remember that we should never let ourselves be defined by others, or by whether or not we are coupled.
Great point! Good reminder this week as we head into Valentine’s Day.
Great post! Although Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love, we should be celebrating it everyday. Like you said, it does not mean spending a boatload of money on your significant other, but just being in the moment with them and sharing that connection is probably worth more than the fancy dinner and flowers. I feel like spending quality time is more valuable to your relationship than anything else.
This is a great message, for all year round! I have never really liked Valentines day, whether or not I was in a relationship. Now that I am married I feel like there is pressure from others to celebrate a certain way, while my husband and I don’t feel the need to do anything crazy just because it is labeled as Valentines day. You are so right about loving yourself before you can fully love someone else. Failing to do so would likely lead to insecurities throughout the relationship.