Thought for Thursday – The ‘Right Time’ for Celebrating Your Love

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As I mentioned this morning, I had planned a Valentine’s Day #TBT around the trip Lisa and I took to the Captain Daniel Stone Inn in Brunswick Maine for our 6 month anniversary. My memories from that weekend are strong and incredibly positive – we had a blast the whole time, did lots of shopping, spent too much money, ate too much and drank too much champagne, and celebrated our love, our new marriage, and the joy of being together.

But I also remember getting more than a couple of comments – how ‘cute’ it was to celebrate 6 months, how we were newlyweds and it would wear off soon enough, how it wasn’t even a ‘real’ anniversary, and the inevitable ‘wait until you ___’ remarks.

Fortunately we have never cared what anyone thought was ‘the right time’ to celebrate our love or relationship or anniversary. I mean, next month is another anniversary of our engagement … you can bet we’ll celebrate! Does our marriage negate our engagement? I don’t THINK so!

Over the last few weeks there have been a few celebration posts, including from Sara and Cori. The comments for all of these posts were uniformly positive, which I think is awesome and shows how cool the community is, and also perhaps that the blogging community tends to be positive and supportive rather than confrontational and critical.

In my opinion, if you haven’t had your choice to celebrate a non-standard event, one of three things is true:
– You aren’t sharing that celebration with others, in other words it is truly a private celebration.
– You aren’t ‘getting it’ when people say things.
– People are talking behind your back.

There is also the possibility that all of your friends/family/coworkers are totally supportive of you deciding to take a vacation day to celebrate the 4.5th anniversary of the first time you got froyo together. But since we live on planet Earth, it is safe to assume that unless your celebration is on the ‘approved celebration list’ … you are being judged.

Sound harsh? It was meant to, in order to get a reaction. Chances are you had one of three reactions:
– People TOTALLY judge us …
– What do you mean? Everyone is SUPER supportive all the time! (i.e. defensive)
– Who really cares what other people think about our celebration?

Bingo!

Last Friday Lisa and I went out on a date – the boys had a dance, and we felt like it. Tonight we are going ballroom dancing, because the opportunity presented itself*. Every chance we have, we take the time to celebrate our relationship and the fact that we actually like being together.

If someone chooses at this point to tell me how and when I should celebrate after nearly 22 years of marriage … I would just laugh.

I celebrate my love every day, every time I get to be with my wife, every moment we have together, good times and challenges, all the little memories and moments. Because ultimately it is Lisa and I alone in this life together, so I am just glad we are happy that way!

OK, tell me about how you celebrate and what ‘obstacles’ people have tried to put in front of you?

* Funny story on ballroom dancing – I had been mentioning that it would be cool if we could find a local class, and a couple of days later Lisa was at work and someone came in and mentioned offhand about dancing. When Lisa asked she found out the woman taught ballroom dancing at the local community center, we made the call and here we go!

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10 thoughts on “Thought for Thursday – The ‘Right Time’ for Celebrating Your Love

  1. Fun fact: tomorrow is our (and Ashley at Chocolate Race Medals-we share the same wedding anniversary!) 6 month wedding anniversary. Yes, maybe we won’t celebrate them much after a while. But it’s new, it’s fun, and we’re going to acknowledge it in our way. I can’t wait to hear how the ballroom dancing goes!

  2. Love it! Cameron and I just had a random date night and it’s a thursday, nothing special, but us being together makes it awesome. We celebrate us a lot. I hope when we’re 22 years + we’re still kicking’ it, celebration style!

    • I think it is great that you guys celebrate – and looking forward to reading all of your wedding stuff as it gets closer. The key for us was realizing that nothing in life is constant, but our love was always there and we needed to find some way to keep connected even as life throws more and more stuff in the way!

  3. When I take a day off work for a celebratory reason, I just don’t explain myself, I know there’s going to be some eye rolling even if it’s an ‘approved’ celebration like a birthday or an anniversary.
    I wish we could celebrate the little things.. I’m lucky if my husband remembers anything beyond our birthdays and our marriage anniversary. Oh why can’t they all be like you?! 🙂

    • haha – there is always judgment, right?

      As for me – I don’t pretend to be a big ol’ bucket of awesome-sauce. I have strengths and weaknesses like everyone. The thing with celebrating – like dancing, shopping, etc – is that we have a blast doing pretty much anything together.

  4. I really love this! I get a lot of judgement around how Wes and I handle things in our marriage, how we really like spending time together and how we can be considered “dependent” but guess what IT WORKS for us! We love it. At the end of the day it is just Wes and I and we choose to do what works for us. It doesn’t mean it is going to work for everyone, but it we are happy and we always put our relationship first. It is the #1 priority for us. We always love to celebrate little things 🙂 It makes it fun!

    Enjoy ballroom dancing!! That sounds like so much fun!

    • What works for you as individuals and as a team is really all that matters. Often people think they are being helpful wiht critiques, maybe they saw a similar situation once that ended badly, or who knows what. It is the old adage that sometimes the harshest criticism comes with the sweetest of intentions. But again – what anyone else says doesn’t really matter – it is your life and your marriage, and for the two of you to navigate.

      And ballroom dancing … total blast! 🙂

  5. As you know, I consider your marriage such an inspiration. I fully believe that you should celebrate when you darn-well feel like celebrating. We had a blast celebrating our 10-year “dating anniversary” (which some people think shouldn’t be celebrated after you’re married). Keep it up!!

    • I’m glad you did celebrate – the minute you let someone else dictate what you should and shouldn’t celebrate, you give them too much power in the relationship. And that is never a good thing.

      And I mentioned the ballroom dancing … and really, it is amazing how much ‘young couple’ fun and energy and nervousness and giggles we brought to it. We pretty much suck, but we just had so much fun we can’t wait until next Thursday!

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