Yesterday Suz posted about her ‘blog process’, and had asked me to join in the fun! I said yes and will be posting mine tomorrow. I definitely recommend reading her post here. But for today I just had a couple of quick items:
Can’t We All Just Get Along?
It is interesting how things tend to flow together in the blogosphere – we complain about the cold, then dealing with training for spring activities, then the post-race letdowns, then it is too hot, then losing mojo … and suddenly now we are seeing a wave of negativity and on many of the blogs I follow there is a bit of a backlash!
I loved Harold’s post today asking people to ‘Get a Grip’, referencing a number of judgmental posts he has seen:
When people write these words, (along with so many other judgmental comments that discuss what others are doing), they are putting their morals, opinions and how they think others should act/write/blog, while disregarding or belittling other people’s reasons for doing or writing about things they do.
I kind of alluded to this type of post in my ‘Clean Eating’ post yesterday, referring to people using the term ‘as a hammer’, meaning that they were deciding that what a blogger / commenter was doing was *wrong* and/or ‘not clean’ – and doing so in some harsh and uncompromising terms. It was based on those ‘absolutist’ stances I was taken aback and moved to write.
In her post yesterday, Susie also referred to a commenter who had obviously really upset her … but that she didn’t want to give them the power and control by focusing on it in her post … which reminds me of advice Harold gave me ages ago. It is interesting – I have dealt with trolls since the late 80s writing on USENET … but when it is your personal space and identity it is very different. I am all for spirited debate, but we’re all actual people on the other side of these screens.
Finally Laura at Fit Fresh & Funny opened a thoughtful discussion about having kids. Because she is awesome and open and always willing to chat, a bunch of people shared freely why they did or did not want kids, myself included.
It was a great post … but it came from a different place. She has been trying to find a ‘home’ on Facebook for people in similar situations, and finding many places too harsh or otherwise not a great fit, then came across an article that asked the basic question about why people want to have kids … but in a bizarre way.
I mean, at first I was supportive – the author was tired of being asked ‘when are you having kids / why don’t you have kids yet’ by rude people who presume it is their business. And as I wrote about … I dealt with all of those insensitive questions, and think they really need to stop.
BUT … she then takes a weird turn, polls friends about why they wanted or want kids, and then spends the article picking them apart. Um … gee, you are a wonderful ‘friend’? My thought is that you never build yourself up by tearing others down, and that instead of suffering fools in silence only to turn around and berate your friends – make sure that the fools know that your life is none of their business.
But the theme is common – insufferable negativity coupled with online anonymity to create a very negative space.
And really, who needs that? Sure i have been critical of discussions being too ‘agreement’ oriented on blogs, but taking it to the other extreme doesn’t help.
Let’s seek the middle ground, happily agree to have energetic debates, know we will often disagree, but always be respectful and kind. Our world could use more of that.
As I mentioned before, the down-side of a 9-day ‘mostly unplugged’ vacation is that I have more than 200 emails in my Gmail inbox … whereas I had 18 when I left. I have sifted through everything I can remove, so what is left is pretty much all of the blog posts I have missed. And that doesn’t count my BlogLovin, Twitter and WordPress Reader queues.
As I barely kept pace with new posts today (ok, really I failed as I just looked and saw some unread posts from earlier!), I have come to realize that I will simply have to summarily read many of them and let them go.
But you know what? That is HARD and tweaks my FOMO (fear of missing out) – I had gotten my queue to the point where I could manage to post AND read all of my faves on a daily basis … so having to just delete a post I mostly-read in the email browser? Not satisfying. Especially when someone references a post from last week (happened twice to me yesterday) and I am left trying to figure out what I missed! Ugh!
As I said, it got to the point yesterday where I realized I was actually losing ground – I had more unread things than when I started the day. There were two options: cut down on my blog roll, or let much of last week go.
I will have to think about a strategy for this the next time, as I think there must be a more optimal solution … but for now this is as good as I can manage.
Have You Noticed the Negativity? And What Do You Do When your queue is just too deep to catch up?