Monday night as I lay in bed waiting to fall asleep, I reflected on the day – great run, amazing posts and comments from friends, great time at a college fair with the boys after Danny’s first day at work, and a great set of chats with Lisa after my run and after dinner/before bed.
Sure, I know I am #blessed and all of that … but it goes beyond that – and makes me feel like my life is a continuous set of ‘trust falls’, with someone (and generally many someones) there to catch me!
Running
While my struggles with weight form an obvious undercurrent for my life, the real health story of my adulthood is about me and running. Running led me to eat better led me to lose weight led to an overall improvement in my outlook on life. Running me will talk to anyone, yet is perfectly fine being alone.
Running makes me, a better me.
When I started gaining weight a few different times where running seemed to be happening less and less, it wasn’t just the weight – it was my attitude, energy, eating, and general outlook on life.
I have referred to going back to running like stepping into a warm hug, revisiting an old friend. And yet this time, for the last two and half years things have been different. This time I have asked my body to be faster, to run longer, to rack up more miles each week than I used to do in a month … oh, yeah and to never get injured.
I did a bunch of ‘trust falls’ with running … and it has always been there to catch me.
But as with real life trust falls, the person falling has responsibliities as well: to make sure that the catcher is ready, positioning is correct and so on. So I have borne my responsibilities seriously: learning to fuel properly, listening to my body and resting it on occasion, and doing proper warm-up/cool down cycles.
Since coming back from vacation I’ve run more than 65 miles, taken the weekend off, and felt like I stepped back into the routine more quickly and easily than I could have imagined … and it is great. Hello again, old friend … I look forward to another 25+ years together!
Blogging
This post started here – I had a post that I nearly hit ‘delete’ rather than ‘schedule’. Actually I have had several since I started, but specifically I had NO CLUE how I was going to take a few things I had been reading on Monster.com and turn it into a post that would be of any interest. Especially since my working title was about how a traditional day job was ruining your life and it was a very down post.
Then I was talking to the boys about how their college search should be about their passions, and last week Megan talked about how she was transforming her blogging, Laura was discussing her inside/outside running switches in the context of her cross-country run, and Danielle was talking about trying to figure out how to fund life through the next phase of Ramblen. Suddenly within a short time period I had a theme and BAM … a post.
And yet, there was a part of me that thought it wasn’t worth publishing, and I almost left it sitting in drafts until a voice inside of me said “these guys are awesome, let them guide you and tell you if this works”. And guess what? Not only did you find it worth reading … you posted a set of amazing comments.
Blogging is ALWAYS a ‘trust fall’ … but this was the first time I really FELT it.
I was reading Suz post on ‘The Comment’ … and had a sketch idea about a post on comments that can get to your weak points, and again was uncertain if it was worth posting, but again I am SO glad I did. Most of us make note of it, and Suz did a whole post about it … but the comments are THE BEST.
There are definitely areas from the early posts I don’t plan on doing as stand-alone posts – music and video games in particular – but this week has definitely totally enamored me even more than before on all of you guys! Amazing … really, just amazing.
Life
I stated it in my ‘comment’ post, but getting married and having kids is a continuous stream of trust falls – starting with putting your life and soul into the hands of another person. Lisa knows me, and I know her – and we each know that when we make that blind leap the other person has our back.
Lisa and I were talking about things going on this week, and she had been talking to some people who were discussing things they would love to go back and change … and Lisa said what I had said in an earlier post – while there are some things I wish I had chosen to deal with differently (cough weight cough), ultimately all of these things brought me HERE to this moment.
And in this moment I have a great wife, kids, home, job, running life, and friends. This is the community that is there when I do my trust falls, and I don’t falter for a second.
With kids, sometimes a trust fall is really about taking off the training wheels … Monday was the first day of work for my older son, and that is always a thrilling moment for them, getting dressed, sitting through grueling training and HR videos … and the sudden realization that they get PAID to sit through those videos! haha
And we went straight from there up to Cornell University (~45 minutes) to attend a college fair, with about 70 schools represented. There is a ‘college summer camp’ week right now for high school kids, so there were kids from all over the country on the campus, making for an even more interesting college fair. Watching my boys know what they wanted, talking to recruiters and asking insightful questions was a reminder that I was ultimately just along for the ride. Which is great – because it is THEIR passion, not mine.
Another thing Lisa and I were discussing was how much we enjoy being together – it was something that came up in discussions for both of us in negative context expressed from other people. It is again another reminder of how fortunate we are to have been together all of these years and experienced so much happiness together, and also of how much hard work it is being married, having kids and all of the things that happen throughout our lives. Hollie asked about ‘What is Success’ yesterday, and it is something I’ve talked about – my life and family tell me that I am very successful.
Great Fortune
Here is the reality – being in the position to talk about these sorts of things is a reminder of the incredible fortune I have in my life. I am blessed with great successes in all areas that greatly enrich me every day, and bring me great happiness.
What Are the ‘Trust Falls’ You Make in YOUR Life?
Running Around the Bend 
I can so relate to this post Mike! I feel like I am in a constant trust fall. Between my husband, job search, marathon training, blogging, moving to a new city, balancing family and trying to really find out my purpose in life it has been a tough but worthwhile battle many times!
I love what I do and I wouldn’t change it for a minute. Sometimes I really have to learn to let go and let others catch me when I need it. I am one who doesn’t like asking for help but sometimes we need it. Some weeks are great, some weeks are a struggle but at the end of the day I can go to bed happy because I am blessed in so many ways. I love this crazy life I live and wouldn’t change it for the world.
Thanks for this reminder 🙂 Sometimes we forget to slow down, let others catch up when we need it, and look at all our blessings!
Thanks for the comment Sara … I remember when you were laid off from your job, then ended up injured, and commenting on a great post you had that you needed to remember that you were NOT defined by your job, by your running, your living situation or even your marriage. All of those are aspects of your life, but are not YOU. Only YOU are you 🙂
So it is great to see how you have come back over the last several months, great workouts and approach to fitness and eating, really seeming happier in your life. That is awesome. And it is a reminder that all those other things – including our spouses – are just ‘catchers’, only we can make the choice to let ourselves fall backwards, to make that leap.
I can completely relate to blogging and running being a trust fall – parenting is a huge one for me too. I keep reminding myself that if I go with my gut I’ll get to the right place, or at least a place where I can learn and grow from. I have taken many leaps in my life thus far and wouldn’t undo any of them. I think for me the takeaway from this is that “trust falling” is not enough if the catcher isn’t there or isn’t well supported. If you abuse your body through running, running won’t catch you anymore, if you don’t nourish relationships they won’t be there to catch you either. I always love your insights, they take feelings I have and put them into words I never would have!
Thanks Michele – parenting and being married are very interesting. I have seen many SAHM who have a hard time letting go and letting their husbands do certain things with the kids … and I have also seen couples not nourish their relationships much to their detriment.
Thanks for the comment 🙂
I feel like I make “trust falls” in all of these areas, too! It can be scary to try something new, to post something potentially controversial, to make life-changing decisions…but I have learned time and time again that its the stuff that makes you step out of your comfort zone that usually creates the best results. But like you said, you need to treat these things well too…have a respect for running and take care of your body and being there for your loved ones to catch them when they fall, too.
Thanks Lisa – and I think of your awesome post on Supplements and your current journey of ‘diet exploration’ as examples of exactly what you are saying!
This is a beautiful post. I feel like I am all smiles after reading this. Life in general for me is a trust fall. If I didn’t believe that I think I would feel so depressed by the things that I have no control over and don’t know how they will end. Being pretty Type A it isn’t easy to do that. But running and blogging really are trust falls for me for sure.
Thanks Sarah – the acceptance of things we cannot control … that is hard. No matter HOW easy going or ‘type A’ we are, it is hard.
As per usual, you hit the nail on the head. Actually, you bludgeoned it with a mallet. What a fantastic metaphor for life, and these things that we pursue within it. I agree–running, love, blogging, our family–they are all these massive leaps of trust that we make. We put ourselves out there, knowing that we might get hurt, and sometimes we do, but we do it anyway. I never thought about this way before, but it makes so, so much sense. I think diet might have become a “trust fall” for me as well–I have had to learn to trust my body again, and in multiple ways–that food won’t hurt, that it won’t make me fat (we both know that you never lose that completely), that it will work the way that it should…
Just so spot on.
I would definitely think of diet as a trust fall for you …
Thanks so much … and love the “bludgeon it with a mallet” analogy! 🙂
I’m so with you here – I had to realize that blogging was my trust fall (along with running). I need both, and when I lose sight of that, I start to falter in other ways too. It’s important for me to keep remembering that and be aware that if I’m away, I’ll need other ways to replace missing a big part of my life!
It is funny the role these things come to play in our lives. I would also say that your whole 2015 is like a big trust fall 🙂
I feel like my life has been one big trust fall right now. Career. Some family stuff. Running/my foot. Definitely blogging. That rant post I put up the other week was a major trust fall but it was bothering me so much that I felt like I couldn’t NOT talk about it. I’ve been so stressed that I think I need a little change in my perception. Leave it to you to post something so timely. This really helps me. Thank you. 🙂
Thanks Lauren – and it is funny how it seems to have been so timely for a bunch of people! We all do need to unload a bit now and then, and it is great how the community is right there to support us!
My life has been one trust fall after another. Last fall I moved and left everything I knew to live with my (now) fiance. I didn’t have a plan and just flew by the seat of my pants. I have no regrets and I’m truly glad I did it.
That is an amazing leap of faith … and so glad it has all worked out so well for you!
What an interesting way to look at this. I think I am often in trust falls in many of the areas you talk about, but currently I am in a major trust fall professionally, trying to determine what path to go down. I have two very different paths that are in front of me, each leading to a very different experience and to say I am more than stressed about it would be a total understatement. I am usually a very decisive person but this is causing me to lose sleep at night. I don’t want to make the wrong decision and both paths have pros and cons…it makes it hard to know what is right. So right now, that is my biggest trust fall..trusting I will make the right decision and it will lead me to where I want to be down the line!
That is definitely stressful! And there is no easy answer – I have seen people stress about this stuff and it not matter, and for other people it has been critical! Whew – definitely a rough thing … but you have to trust that the skills and intuition htat get you through everything you do will guide you here. Go for a run and think about it … that is what I always do 🙂
I feel like my whole life is a trust fall. I like to control things to a fault. As I get older, I realize that I must let go, let others take charge, and not worry about it. Easier said than done for this control freak. Thankfully, my husband is patient with me but calls me out when I won’t let things go. This has been an especially important lesson for me to learn, working in management. Delegating out parts of my job to others, praying they do it correctly, coaching them, and then having my performance judged based on their performance is tough, but so worth it when I am able to let go.
Delegating is really hard – especially when the outcome is uncertain. But we really can’t do it all, so it is great when we’re part of a team that supports each other! I definitely give Lisa a rough time when she can’t let things go – and she gives me a rough time when I let things go too easily! Balance … never easy!
Every day, I trust that Joe is safe and will call me when he’s allowed to. I trust that we’ll both have the courage and the determination to stick together even when things get rough, and that we’ll always be honest with each other about how we’re doing and what we need from the other. I trust that the boys and I will make it through the day relatively unharmed and that we’ll have laughed together at least once or twice, even on the really bad ones. I trust that every run I go out on will teach me something I need to know for both running and life, and even on the ones that suck, there’s a reason I’m out there, even if it isn’t obvious. I trust that my family will always love and support me (or be honest with why they don’t). I trust that my friends will continue to be there, unafraid to call me out when necessary but ready to listen or make me laugh at the drop of a hat. I trust that what I post will be not harshly received at least, though I always want honest opinions and comments. And I’m working on trusting that the unknowns in life will make themselves known when the time is right.
Wow … I love this comment, Caitlin, totally gave me ‘the feels’. Because I know you ARE in the midst of an all-consuming trust-fall, and just waiting for the catch to arrive later this fall. Thanks again for sharing your thoughts!
Your post are always so awesomely thought provoking! My biggest trust fall was getting married. The funny thing was that I wasn’t scared at all–I’ve never felt more at peace than in my life with my husband. There are things in college we wished we could go back and maybe re-do but then we say how those things in some way brought us together. What was supposed to happen (good and bad) was meant to happen just the way they did.
Thanks so much Helly! I think we could always look at things that perhaps could have gone differently … but if we are pretty satisfied where we’ve landed, why should anything change?
Trust Fall, such an interesting term. The way you explain it in the post, makes it seem like the most natural thing in the world and that while it has risks, the rewards are also great.
Unfortunately, it was my experience for many years that those who you expected to catch you were not there all of the time (sporadically) and the ones who actually did the catching before you bounced too hard or picked you back up were sometimes the ones you least expected.
So the Trust Fall was one of the hardest things that I ever had to learn and still am not all that great at it. That blind fall backwards, where i need to rely on others to catch me is hard and always will be, but this community we are developing is something special.
Great post 🙂
That is a great comment, Harold … and practically a post in itself! haha But so true, then the quest becomes how to ensure that those you surround yourself are most likely to be there to catch you most of the time. And, of course, how to make sure YOU are there for yourself and not randomly tossing yourself off cliffs (metaphorically speaking, of course) 🙂
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This post has me thinking because I’m not good at trust falls. At all. I’m probably better than I used to be, but as much as I am willing to try a million methods to get to my goal, I inherently think something will go wrong and I’ll need contingencies plans. To the point of oerhsps being paralyzed. Food for thought…
That should be “perhaps”. Lord know why spellcheck didn’t do anything to fix that one!
I noticed that one – we all get those odd or absent autocorrects on occasion!
Interesting – analysis paralysis as they say. That is always a tough thing to get past – because no matter how much we KNOW, actually getting past it is very challenging.